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Sometimes, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles believes he is “the greatest person on planet Earth”. Having received an NPD diagnosis, his periods of extreme self-importance frequently escalate into “really delusional”, he explains. You’re riding high and you tell yourself, ‘The world will recognize that I stand above others … I’ll do great things for the world’.”

In his case, these phases of exaggerated self-worth are often succeeded by a “crash”, a period when he feels sensitive and embarrassed about his actions, leaving him especially susceptible to criticism from external sources. He first suspected he might have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) after looking up his traits online – and subsequently evaluated by a clinician. However, he is skeptical he would have agreed with the assessment without having previously arrived at that understanding personally. When someone suggests to somebody that they have this disorder, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he notes – particularly if they feel feelings of superiority. “They’re in a delusional world that they’ve constructed. And that world is like, No one compares to me and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Clarifying The Condition

Although people have been called narcissists for over 100 years, definitions vary what is meant by the label. People frequently term everybody a narcissist,” states an expert in narcissism, adding the word is “overused” – but when it comes to a professional assessment, he suggests many people hide it, as there is widespread prejudice around the condition. A narcissist will tend to have “a heightened sense of self”, “difficulty understanding others’ feelings”, and “a strategy of using people to bolster one’s self-esteem through actions such as seeking admiration,” the professor explains. Those with NPD may be “extremely narcissistic”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he states.

I never truly valued about anyone really, so relationships weren’t a priority relationships seriously

Gender Differences in Narcissism

While up to 75% of people identified as having the condition are men, research indicates this number does not mean there are less female narcissism, but that female narcissism is more often presented in the covert form, which is under-identified. “Men’s narcissism tends to be somewhat tolerated, similar to everything in society,” explains an individual who shares content on her NPD and borderline personality disorder (BPD) on online channels. It’s fairly common, the two disorders appear together.

Individual Challenges

It’s hard for me with handling criticism and rejection,” she explains, whenever it’s suggested that the issue lies with me, I either go into self-protection or I become unresponsive.” Even with this response – which is often called “ego wounding”, she has been working to manage it and accept input from her support system, as she strives not to return into the damaging patterns of her past. I used to be manipulative to my partners during adolescence,” she states. Via therapeutic interventions, she has been able to mitigate her NPD symptoms, and she explains she and her significant other “have a dynamic where we’ve agreed, ‘When I speak manipulatively, if my words are controlling, call it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her upbringing mainly in the care of her father and says she lacked supportive figures in her youth. “I’ve been learning over the years the difference between suitable or harmful to say during a fight because I lacked that guidance in my formative years,” she says. “Nothing was off-limits when my relatives were insulting me during my childhood.”

Origins of Narcissistic Traits

Conditions like NPD tend to be linked to childhood challenges. “There is a genetic component,” says a consultant psychiatrist. But, when someone exhibits NPD characteristics, it is often “connected with that specific childhood circumstances”. Those traits were “a coping mechanism in some ways to cope in formative years”, he states, when they may have been overlooked, or only shown love that was based on meeting certain expectations. They then “continue to use those familiar tactics as adults”.

In common with many of the individuals with NPD, one individual thinks his parents “may be narcissists themselves”. The individual explains when he was a child, “the focus was always on them and their work and their social life. So it was like, don’t bother us.” When their attention turned to him, it came in the form of “a great amount of pressure” to achieve high marks and career success, he says, which made him feel that if he didn’t achieve their goals, he wasn’t “good enough”.

As he grew older, none of his relationships ever worked out. “I’ve never cared about anyone really,” he admits. “So I’ve never taken relationships seriously.” He felt incapable of experiencing genuine affection, until he met his long-term relationship of three years, who is also dealing with a personality disorder, so, similar to his experience, has difficulty with feelings. She is “very supportive of the thoughts that occur in my head”, he says – it was in fact, her who initially thought he might have NPD.

Pursuing Treatment

Subsequent to a consultation to his general practitioner, an assessment was arranged to a mental health professional for an evaluation and was informed of his condition. He has been recommended for psychological counseling on the public health system (ongoing counseling is the primary approach that has been shown to help NPD patients, specialists note), but has been on the treatment delay for an extended period: The estimate was it is likely to occur in a few months.”

John has only told a handful of people about his mental health status, because “negative perceptions are widespread that all narcissists are abusers”, but, in his own mind, he has accepted it. The awareness assists me to comprehend my actions, which is beneficial,” he comments. Those interviewed have acknowledged their condition and are seeking help for it – leading them to be open to talk about it – which is likely not typical of all people with the diagnosis. But the presence of online advocates and the development of virtual networks indicate that {more narcissists|a growing number